Johnathan Edwards

Dr. Edwards has many degrees, a few of which are in
Epistimology, Proctology, and Autoptology. His
fascination with the idea of death has led him to almost
every country in the world. He collects and catalogues
ceremonial and accidental deaths on video for a large
project that only Pastor Ebeneezer is fully aware of.
Eighty-five percent of our church members see Dr.
Edwards as their family physician. The rest see Dr.
Fingers. Dr Edwards is also well known for giving
insight into the horrors that go on in the
Catholic(Satanic) Church. He has experienced many
himself. His theory on the 'demon cookie' led good
friend Johnston Timothy Chick to write a gospel tract
about the eucharist and expose the promotion of
ritualistic cannibalism in the Mother Church.