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National Headlines
Environmental Group, Greenpeace, Offers Sex With Dolphins to Major Donors
The dolphin's name is, “Ernie” and Greenpeace workers keep him in a giant fish tank called an "aquarium" at their headquarters in Amsterdam. A donation of $12,000 or more,
will get you a plane ticket and four hours of private lessons on how to have sex with Dolphins. Participants are told to rub the dolphin below the belly-button until the creature is
aroused. Four drownings have already been reported.
Local Headlines
God Kills 2 Children, Blinds 1 at Fourth of July
Praise & Picnic Tent Revival.
Marshall & Anita Winkler left the event with their two oldest sons, Bobby
& Carter, in body bags and youngest boy, Grant,
with his head wrapped in paper towels. The kids were seated in the Georgia-Sue Gaines
Amphitheater watching fireworks when a half
stick of unlit dynamite was tossed into a nearby waste receptical. Disobeying their parents, they
left the seating area to retrieve the explosive. After the event, pieces of the boys were dicovered by a church deacon
behind the amphitheater.
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Secret Scriptures!
