 John
Paul II's Message From Hell
Upon his death and descent into
Hell, Pope John
Paul II sent a message to his countless mourners via Archangel Michael
(who translated the missive into English, the only language understood
by True Christians™). John
Paul II assured his followers that Hell isn’t nearly as bad as he
frequently preached it to be...
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Why
Do Catholics Worship Mary?
These folks are still more
pagan than Christian. Only now, their favorite goddess is Mary, the...
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Practicing
Greek in Rome: The Link Between Catholicism and Homosexuality
Last week, the Society to Cure
Ailing Morality published the results of its six month investigation
into the historical and contemporary connection between homosexuality
and the Catholic...
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Prepare
"Goodbyes" for Your Catholic Friends, For They Won't Be
Joining Us in the Hereafter
The ways in which Catholics
defy God’s word are too numerous to describe in this sermon. So let me
just focus on a few. First...
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Catholic
Altar Boys, Talk to a Baptist Counselor, LIVE!
We'd love to speak with you and
help you set up a financial account with Landover Baptist. You can start
channeling all that money you've been sending to support pedophiles in
Rome into...
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PDF OFFICIAL LAWSUIT: Landover
Baptist vs. Central Iowa Archdiocese of the Holy Roman and Apostolic
Church
For more than 40 years,
LANDOVER has made periodic and repeated applications to this judicial
district for restraining orders to exclude certain individuals
considered undesirable from presence around...
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The Scariest Halloween Costume in the Whole Wide World!
Dozens of children are being treated for Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and five, newly-blind youngsters remain
in serious condition at the
Landover Baptist
Hospital for Folks Not Ready for Heaven Yet
Throughout the still traumatized community, children are suffering from
severe psychological shock...
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Satan
Calls Another Pope To Hell
Satan's minion here on Earth,
the Pope, head of the largest cult in the world (Catholicism) is finally
dead and back home with his father, Lucifer, in Hell. It is cause for
great celebration among Baptists...
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King
of the Mary Worshippers Thumbs His Nose at God and Refuses to Die!
The obvious decline in health
of Pope John Paul II, Satan’s surrogate here on earth, has True
Christian party planners around the globe in a state of panic...
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Despite
Hating the Right People, Cardinal Called to Hell
While the death of an unsaved
Catholic is never cause for sorrow, this one at least accepted God's
hatred of those who sin. What a shame the leader of...
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The
Terrifying Truth About Saint Patrick!
"NOW! Who's NEXT!?"
Pastor yelled through a spray of green spittle. He lunged
frantically toward the children. "I drove the snakes out of
filthy, rotten Ireland – and I'll drive you out of your crazy little
minds! BWAA-hahahahah!
" he exclaimed...
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Local Catholic Priests in Iowa to Hold
Traditional "Boy Diddling Cotest!"
"Apparently, the
Catholics just don't give a demon's hocked up loogie about the law
anymore," Pastor Deacon Fred told parishoners. "I want the members of
the Landover Baptist Church to be clear on one thing..."
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Drunk
Mexican Spots Virgin Mother in Bowel Movement
José Hernandez was shocked
when he found the Mother of Jesus staring up at him out of the toilet
bowl...
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Vision
of Mary Seen, Asked to "Kindly Leave!"
I don't know what she thought
she was doing." Mrs. Swindle reported. "Sitting there,
distracting the children from their studies. I couldn't pull them
away." Mrs. Swindle said that Mary bobbed...
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Satan
Calls Another Kennedy To Hell
God was John Kennedy’s
Co-Pilot on that flight. With that plunge, Almighty God showed that clan
that breeds like rats, the Kennedys, the price of renouncing...
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5
Questions for Mel Gibson, Director of "The Passion
of Christ"
Since you are a Catholic, you
believe in transubstantiation. This means that whenever you participate
in Communion, you actually believe that you are chewing on a piece of
Jesus' skin and washing it down with a gulp of His...
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Does America Really Need Another Excuse for Catholics to Get Drunk?
"Saint Patrick's Day is like green
beer - something the Lord never intended," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "We
always get a little taste of Catholic Hell on this 'so-called' holiday,
made popular by Irish layabouts, who seem to think it is a badge of
honor to come from an island without snakes..."
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Baptist
Boys Seduced by Lewd Attire and Shocking Behavior of Local Catholic
Girls
They cut class so they can walk
the streets during the day, and they fill up on liquor so they can
"get loose" and lure Baptist boys into the alleys at night.
Their intent is alarming to those...
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Landover
Youths Plunder Local Catholic Churches During One Day Idol Smashing
Retreat
To make the outing more of an
educational event, points were given to the student who smashed the most
number of significant statues...
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Ex
Nun's Horrifying Testimony Leaves Church Members Visibly Shaken
Sister Charlotte, called by
some the Concubine Whore of Eastern Europe visited with Landover members
at our Wednesday evening...
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Catholics
Target and Hack Landover Baptist Web Site
Church members were forced to
survive on a commercial message board, undergoing attacks from liberals,
atheists...
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