Satan's Favorite Film: Toy Story 2
Freehold Iowa - - Toy Story II isn't polluting theaters yet, but Landover Baptist has already
seen an early script for this disgusting little movie -- thanks to the lone
Born Again Christian that works at a major Hollywood studio. This fearless
Christian woman, who must remain anonymous until honored by name by God
on Judgment Day, tirelessly works over the stench of a Disney Studios Xerox
machine, watching Jews get rich off of poisoning Christians $7 at a time.
Christ's mole was able to secure an authentic copy of every even-numbered
page of the pusillanimous script. The dear Lord only knows what muck the
odd-numbered pages contain, because Satan has obviously been keeping some
late nights at his word processor from what we've seen!
The movie company Walt Disney, run from top to bottom by sodomites,
has once again thumbed its rodent nose at traditional family values. Yes,
the same company that brings Christian families the occult hit "Sabrina
The Teenage Witch" on ABC, Antichrist Broadcasting Company, is back in
business promoting their Chairman Emeritus, the Devil. Toy Story II, a
stealthily packaged "children's" movie, doesn't even pay lip service to
original Toy Story. No, instead, it picks up where Caligula left off! This
stomach-turning tale is so sexually offensive that even that ungodly crippled
pervert Larry Flynt would throw his fat little body from his wheelchair
and drag his carcass to the lobby to avoid seeing such putrid computer-generated
mess as Toy Story II.
The cute boy from the first movie has turned so queer and wears so much
eye make-up he looks like he should be in the cast of "Rent." And
his innocent, sweet toys of youth have now been turned into a mine-field
of deviant adolescent sexual experimentation. Buzz Lightyear is no longer
a battery powered spaceman, but is a turbo-activated hand-held rectal-stimulator
with two rotating heads worthy of Black & Decker. And in another crass
attempt to plug a Disney TV show, the lovable and classic Mr. Potato Head
is now "Judge Judy the Anal Probe." Yes, these are disgusting words, but
the truth must be told. Woody, living up to his smutty namesake, spends
the entire movie spiking the other toys' batteries with powdered-Viagra,
as all of the toys compete with each other to see who can be the first
to mount the sweet little springer spaniel puppies that live in the basement.
This filthy little story ends with a car chase leading up to all of the
characters going next door to rape a little retarded girl. This kind of
debauchery hasn't been seen since Elton John's last pool party.
Pastor Deacon Fred read the script 12 times. He warned Landover members
not to go see Toy Story II. He is particularly adamant that they do not
purchase the promotional tie-ins that will be carried by McDonalds. "Even
if the sexual probe is pretty and free with a Happy Meal, it is not something
any right thinking Christian should ever have in their Christian homes.
Let's hit these Homo Jews out in Hollywood where they live -- in their
wallets. Praise the Lord!"
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