| Landover Baptist
Church Pastors
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Pastor Ezekiel Flint
Photographic Christian
Memorist and Missionary to the Ornamentals
 Pastor Ezekiel Flint is a 7th generation True Christian™ Pastor at Landover
Baptist Church. His bloodline can be traced to the Hubert Flynte Pilgrim
family from the Pinta, with only two percent Injun taint.
Pastor Ezekiel is a well known Baptist prodegy who is often called upon by the
Lord to speak and receive large sums of tax-deductible donations at the Southern
Baptist Convention, the Evangelical Bachelors Association's Annual month long
Seminar in Amsterdam, The Society of Single Women for Christ's bi-monthly
meetings, and other numerous True Christian™ gatherings.
At 5-years old, little Ezekiel had memorized the entire KJV 1611 Bible. In
addition, he memorized the first 2,000 pages of Strong's Concordance and quite
by accident, 2-years worth articles from his mother's subscription to Women's
Day magazine which were laying on the coffee table next to the concordance.
Ezekiel was home schooled at the end of a wooden paddle by his father, Pastor
Obadiah Flint, a dear and beloved (now gone to be home with the Lord) member of
Landover Baptist's exclusive inner, "Romans 13 Circle of Authority."
Inspired by his loving father, at the age of 12 he began what would later become
a lifelong Christian obsession of collecting paddles, switches and various rods
of discipline. Ezekiel was is in the True Christian Book of Earthly
Records™ for having the largest collection of blood-stained wooden paddles of
parental love from 1991-2004.
Three years ago, Pastor Ezekiel was having dinner with Pastor Deacon Fred at a
Sushi Bar in New York City. Someone had left a Slope dictionary on the
counter, and while Deacon Fred was in the bathroom, he came back to find that
Ezekiel had memorized the entire Japaneses disgusting language while he was
waiting for the check. As a result, Pastor Ezekiel now divides his time
between rebuking local demons in Freehold, Iowa and the sloped servants of Satan
from a number of church estates in Ornamental countries.
Pastor Ezekiel remains unmarried, ladies! |
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