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 Before
coming to Landover Baptist, Talitha was a kiss away from becoming a hell-bound
lesbian, caught up in a secular women's motorcycle riding club. It was when her
Billionaire husband (after being married to the 84-year old gentleman for just
3-months) died in what can only be described as "Hand of Jesus" circumstances.
The family limousine accidentally rolled over his frail little sinful head
repeatedly on a steep incline.
With a team of Jewish lawyers and Landover pastors, the killing was tied to
the Lord Jesus and Talitha was whisked away to Landover Baptist where she
quickly fit in and became a pillar of the community.
Talitha was elevated to Platinum Tither status two days after her arrival in
Freehold, Iowa. She now serves the Lord Jesus diligently in a number of
womanly church activities which surprisingly involve the use of guns and knives
outside the kitchen.
This year, Talitha captured 12 Wiccans (each weighing over 300 pounds!) with
her shotgun in under one hour at the "De-Haunting the Harvest Festival" on
Malachi Mountain. In addition she makes a room available in her
home to elderly uncircumcised gentlemen where her previous unsaved life-skills at nursing allow her to
perform painless procedures.
A Believer in The Truth© Talitha is a keen campaigner against women's
suffrage and is actively seeking to put women back in the home. She believes
that women should not even be able to travel in Cars unless they have a
chauffeur to do the driving.
The Department of Faith keeps the details of Sister Talitha's personal finances
and historical background classified in room 6 of the Freehold, Iowa Center for
Historical Privacy.
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