Sermon by Brother Harry Hardwick

The Jews have done it to us again, my friends.  It wasn’t enough for them to kill the Lord Jesus Christ, try to murder the apostle Paul and cause the Great Depression with their takeover of the world’s financial institutions.  Now, they have hurt our economy by inducing God to destroy not one, but two space shuttles.  Ignoring the loss of a few non-noteworthy people like a Hindu, God’s latest shuttle crash has cost taxpayers millions of dollars.  And all because those power-hungry heathens once again tried to get one of their kind into Heaven, probably to futilely try to negotiate some kind of financial arrangement for a price of admission to Heaven despite their continued persecution of God’s only Son.

Contrary to what the liberal media and communist do-gooders claim, there are no accidents.  Everything happens for a reason.   We often don’t know why God strikes people with cancer, blindness and impotence because no one can know all the sins in the background of even his closest relatives.  But we know there is a smorgasbord of medical maladies God has at his disposal to strike down depraved individuals (Luke 1:20; Exodus 4:1).  And we know God frequently kills off whole hordes of sinners in one fell swoop with so-called “disasters.”  Before the advent of modern technology, God’s mass slaughter was limited to what secular, a/k/a Satanic, scientists call “natural phenomena” – floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and the like (Jeremiah 30:23; Isaiah 13:13; 40:24; Psalms 18:7).  But as humans have defied God’s law and invested billions of dollars in research and development, inspired by the devil, himself, God now has weapons in his arsenal that our ancestors couldn’t even have dreamed of.  You would think we had learned our lesson after 9/11.  Inspired by the Holy Spirit, Brothers Falwell and Robertson explained that God sent commercial planes hurling into the World Trade Center to punish America for our tolerance of feminists (i.e., abortionists) and homosexuals.  But we just didn’t get it and brazenly sent yet another of the Jews on their quest to Heaven.  We all know the result.  NASA can search the fields of Nacogdoches, Texas until the cows there are sent to slaughter.  But they’ll never find the lightning bolt that struck those tiles.

This wasn’t the first or even the second time Jews have tried to make their way into Heaven.  It’s happened three times, with disastrous consequences on each occasion.  Not long after plunging mankind from Eden to Earth, God recognized the obvious: wherever two or more Jews are gathered, trouble is imminent.  The Jews began their quest to dominate not just the world but Heaven, itself, nearly 6,000 years ago.  They began building the giant Tower of Babel as a drawbridge by which they could reach and conquer Heaven.  God decided then and there that the only way to squelch the inherently aggressive Jews was to prevent each of them from uniting with their overzealous comrades, so he scattered them throughout the Earth and confounded their language so they could no longer plan and plot their coups (Genesis 11:1-9).  But that didn’t stop Hebrew aggression.  They persecuted and killed prophets (Matthew 23:21; Acts 7:51-52), eventually murdering God’s own Son (Matthew 27:25; John 19:7-15; Acts 3:14-15; 5:30).  Then, they went after the apostles who hid from the Jews in fear of their lives (John 20:19).  More than once, they put out a hit on Paul (Acts 14:2-5, 17:5, 21:27, 23:12-15; 26:21).

Fortunately, they failed to destroy the One True Religion or to make their pagan worship the law of the land.  And they never regained the power that motivated their conquest of Heaven, that is, until we – Americans – returned the power to them.  Because of some misunderstanding they had with the Germans, the Jews demanded their own nation.  So we gave them a worthless plot of sand way out near Africa, foolishly thinking they would be too far away to annoy us.  They immediately expanded the size of their land, killing off some Muslims in the process for public relations purposes.  But Jews know no borders.  They insisted on establishing a presence everywhere, eventually taking over every profitable industry in the world.  But even controlling Wall Street, Hollywood and the Human Rights Campaign wasn’t enough for the Jews.  So they set their sights once again on Heaven.

In 1986, Judith Resnik, both a Christ-killer and a woman – a double whammy – somehow managed to buy her way on board the space shuttle, Challenger.  God wasn’t about to face another Babel-like episode and sent that craft hurtling back to Earth before it had even left the atmosphere.  Still not learning our lesson, just weeks ago, we allowed not just a Jew but an Israeli astronaut on board Columbia.  This time, God let the astronauts have their fun, reaching space, floating around the air and consuming Tang and toothpaste protein.  But he inevitably struck that craft before it could make its way back home.  The destruction of these shuttles should have been clear signs that God doesn’t want us letting Jews get any higher in the air than Mount Sinai.  But we probably still haven’t learned our lesson. Perhaps God should have crashed that shuttle into Ground Zero in New York, spewing metal into the corned beef of every deli in the area.

Paul tells us that because the Jews are displeasing to the Father and contrary to all men, God's wrath will be on the them to the greatest degree (1 Thessalonians 2:14-16). Frankly, I'd rather take care of the trouble now and spare God the burden. With the End Times right around the corner, I, for one, want to spend my last remaining days in peace without worrying about some yarmulke flying through my kitchen window.  Our Godly President needs to ignore the U.N. figureheads and attack the Middle East now, wiping out not just Iraq but every nation in the region, sending John Glenn to plant the American flag in the center of the rubble and declaring the whole area prime American beach-front real estate, with easements for oil wells.

 

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