Friends, I've been asked to make a statement about the runner woman over there in Africa land.  She's that colored gal everyone thinks has some man juice flowin' through her veins to make her run faster.  Some folks don't know if she's a man or a woman! I've seen a picture of her, and I'll tell you - it is mighty hard to tell!  I asked our webmaster to put a photo of her on landoverbaptist.org when they post this sermon, so you all can get some ideas for your Halloween costumes.

My friends, we know through Creation Science that the Lord hankers toward using Africa as a Holy Petri Dish.  Fact is, Poppa God let little Baby Jesus conduct some Creation Science experiments there about six-thousand years ago - and I'm standing up here as proof that some of those experiments were successful!  Oh, Glory!  GLORY!

Brothers and Sisters, I saw on Fox News the other day that some secular scientists opened up the tummy of this African gal and found a couple of testicles floating around up in there! Oh my Lord! These are truly the last days! Where God Himself has forgotten that He only creates males and females!

The Lord God tells us in the Holy Bible that as far as humans are concerned, He creates ONLY man and woman. Nothing else. I don't care what you got floatin' around up there in your stomach!

I'm sorry folks, I've got no doubt in my Godly, ordained Baptist mind that whatever Jesus' Daddy let His Son do with His new Creation Science Chemistry Set over there in Africa Land - is destined to wind up in Hell. 

God in Heaven! I call upon Your Holy Name!  Please do not take us off script!  All we've got is the Holy Bible, and we are following it word for word! 

We're following the greatest Script ever written, Lord.  You wrote it - and we've read it! We read it daily when convenient!   And we don't see any mention of Hermaphrodite, whether it be a person or a place!

I call upon every single person in this congregation to place the padded pillows underneath your pews upon the ground and get on your knees!  Call upon the Lord to STOP performing sexual and gender experiments!

Lord Jesus, there ain't a single word in Your Holy Bible that tells us what to do in circumstances like this! All we can do is "cut a tallywhacker or cover a hole" to honor your Holy Word.  SHOUT GLORY!

Lord God, why would You create something that looks almost human - only for it to be damned to Hell from the day they pop their little head out from betwixt their momma's legs to breath their first breath of air? We'll never know till we get to Heaven!  

Secularists call this abomination a Hermaphrodite, but God... Your Word - The Holy Bible - doesn't mention Hermaphrodite unless it might have been some small town outside of Philistine that King James could have translated incorrectly.

We can only call upon You now, Father God!  We pray that this African runner with a lewd name we don't care to pronounce will have those testicles lowered or removed altogether so that a precious pickaninny soul might one day see Heaven to serve us in our mansions of Glory.  A-men.