A. Men who have sex with another person while they are married.
B. Men who marry a divorced woman.
C. Men who have ever fantasized about having sex with any women to whom they are not married.
D. All of the above.

2. How does God say you can determine whether your wife is cheating on you?

A. Ask her. She will either acknowledge it or the truth will be revealed by her tone or facial expressions.
B. Pray to Him to give you the answer.
C. Have a priest give her holy water to drink. If she’s an adulteress, her belly will swell and her thigh will rot.
D. None of the above.

3. How does God say a new wife can defend against her husband’s charge that she was not a virgin on their wedding night?

A.She must swear, in the name of God, that she was a virgin.
B. She must offer the town elders the opportunity to measure the opening of her vaginal cavity.
C. Her parents must present the bloodstained bedsheets and nightgown as proof.
D. None of the above.

4. What punishment does God provide for a man who accidentally ejaculates?

A. He will eventually go blind.
B. Not only must he wash himself and anything his semen may have touched, but he must leave the community and not return until night.
C. Hair follicles will grow on his palm.
D. None of the above.

5. According to Jesus, what is a woman’s sexual role?

A. The same as a man’s. God does not distinguish between the genders.
B. To develop a loving relationship with her husband so that they are able to satisfy each other, mutually.
C. To submit to her husband’s whims, for women were created to serve men, and to satisfy men’s sexual needs.
D. Women are only to have sex when they and their husbands have decided to conceive a child.

6. Which of the following X-rated descriptions appears in the Bible?

A. Men hung like donkeys who shoot loads like horses.
B. Men fondling a woman’s breasts for sexual pleasure.
C. People peeing on walls and eating their own feces.
D. All of the above.

7. With how many women did the wise man of the Bible, King Solomon, have sex?

A. Solomon had 700 wives.
B. Solomon had 300 concubines.
C. A and B.
D. None of the above.

8. What is an example of the payment a man of God had to provide to a king to marry his daughter?

A. Trick question. Everyone knows it is the bride-to-be’s father who must pay a dowry.
B. 50 shekels of gold and 50 shekels of silver.
C. 50 shekels each of gold and silver if the girl was the king’s only daughter and less if the king had other female children.
D. 100 foreskins of enemies of the king that the husband-to-be must slaughter (but, to curry favor, 200 foreskins was preferable).

9. What was God’s instruction to the prophet, Hosea, who lived in a land where sin was rampant?

A. God told him to witness to all the people, convincing them to give up their evil ways.
B. God told him to ferret out the most evil sinners in the land, punish them, and make them an example unto others.
C. God told him to stay away from all sin, and make sure his life remained righteous.
D. God told him to marry a prostitute.

10. What unique characteristic did God inspire in the prophesying of Saul, Isaiah and Micah?

A. God induced them to prophesy about the evils of fornication.
B. God induced them to prophesy in the nude.
C. God induced them to prophesy in multiple languages (speaking in tongues).
D. God induced them to prophesy to prostitutes and sodomites, people prophets typically avoided.