What Causes a WICCAN?

Eye on the Occult

Through a generously bestowed state funded grant, renowned occult expert, Pastor Mitch Walker, at the request of Pastor Deacon Fred, was able to devote countless hours (he missed dinner twice!) researching the latest anti-Christian fad to invade small-town America.  The fad is called, WICCA.  "When it all comes down to it," Pastor Mitch concludes, "WICCA is really just a fancy secret way for out of control, unloved, outcast, ugly fat children to call themselves, Wicked." 

Through a stroke of God's immeasurable grace, Pastor Walker was able to work with live subjects obtained in the woods outside Rev. Wilkins' farm earlier this year. His hours alone with these pudgy pale creatures of the night in the cold basement of Landover Baptist's Creation Science Laboratory culminated in the first fully authorized and definitive chart tracing the sinister and depraved roots of the WICCAN cult.  

[ CLICK CHART TO ENLARGE ]

The Landover Baptist Board of Deacons notarized the above chart within seconds after viewing it.  It will be presented to Landover Baptist children as part of this year's October Sunday School curriculum.  It is important to carefully indoctrinate Christian children at an early age so they are able to detect any  habits or behaviors that could lead them to become Wickedian.  "We're keeping our children on the straight and narrow," says Pastor Deacon Fred.  "It is important they know that all exit ramps lead to Satan when you get off the Lord's highway."   

If you are a saved, dipped in the blood of Jesus, True Christian™ educator, please feel free to click on the official chart above to download a larger, printable file. You are welcome to use this authoritative graphic in your Sunday School class presentations, after we receive your love gift of $150.00 or more.  The money received will assist us by funding our continued research into the depraved cult of WICCA. 

For even more detailed information on WICCA and their shocking beliefs, click here.

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