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October 2000
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 What
might seem like an innocent children's film to the unsaved eye is actually
a brutal attack against everything real, English-speaking Americans have
held sacred for the last 200 years. Hollywood would like to think we aren't
watching them, but we are. We are not watching their movies, but
we are watching the industry we call HELLywood. And what
we find them doing is deplorable in every sense of the word. What the Jews
and homosexuals who run Hollywood pass off as an innocent children's
film is nothing more than a trail of candy and bread-crumbs leading straight
to Satan’s hoofs! Nothing is sacred in the hands of marijuana-addicted
producers. In their latest attempt, they even change the color of
Lucifer from red to green to pass him off as more “environmentally friendly.”
They change his name from Satan to Grinch. You will remember him
best as the pedophile who sneaked into homes and seduced youngsters with nonsensical
internally-rhymed demon incantations that secretly called upon them to renounce
their parents and God-given gender. Folks used to the grandeur
of the language of the King James Bible will at first be taken aback
by Satan speaking in rhymes so simple-minded a colored person could rap
them. But make no mistake, friends. This so-called “Grinch”
is the very same beast that tempted our Lord. And now he is back, tempting
your children to go to the multiplex and submit to the Prince
of Darkness over a box of over-priced candy.
Let's give you a little bit of history on "Dr. Seuss," for starters. What many people (even Christians!) don't know is that Dr. Seuss is just a sneaky nom de plume. Dr. Seuss is just a name that First Church of Satan pastor, and author of the book “The Satanic Free Verses,” Abe Goldstein, used in his early life to pen children's books laced with subliminal messages that encouraged patricide and botulism. We have it on good authority that the book "Green Eggs and Ham" can be heard in its entirety if you play the Eagles song, "Peaceful Easy Feeling" backwards from start to finish while strung out on a fistful of LSD or Sudafed. The title of that book breaks two commandments. It encourages people to commit suicide by eating rotten eggs (which could result in death) and it mocks God's commandment to refrain from eating pork. It comes as no surprise that ex-mental patient and self-confessed lunatic, Jim Carrey (who last year was almost locked up for trying to convince people that there was a man on the moon), is behind this project. He is playing his favorite character, Satan. Talk about typecasting! This movie really is trying to pull the wool over the unsaved person’s eyes. And it is not the wool from the Lamb of God, folks! But we at Landover Baptist Church are as immune to this attempt to dedicate our lives to Satan/Grinch worship. The Lord has protected his most loyal followers from the likes of Godless men like Jim Carrey by making any Baptist worthy of the name immune to Satan’s most nefarious weapon – humor. Please join us in stopping Dr. Seuss from swindling salvation from children by giving a love offering of only $200.00 today and each day until the end of the year. Jesus will thank you with salvation. Your donation will aid us in purchasing every ticket in every single theater across the country so that the young of those less fortunate will not have access to the latest Damnation through Animation. An empty theater will show HELLywood that they may get our money but they can’t get our children.
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