EZ Slide Credit Card Offering Plates

[<Home] [<News Archives] September 1999

Since the 18.2% tithe was instituted on Landover Baptist members in early July we have not been able to keep the Church ATM machines full. It was felt that this increase would help in managing the lifestyle needs of our Church's 38 ordained pastors. Some of the increase is also due to rising inflation that Pastor Ebeneezer says is, "'unique to the Freehold Iowa area." In anticipation of this small increase, church authorities directed 'Secure Technologies,' a Christian manufacturer of monetary transaction and information products, to work with us on providing an adequate way of collecting traditional offering, while at the same time allowing parishioners to utilize state of the art technology. The company's effort resulted in a revolutionary new offering plate design that we are extremely excited about. It's called, the "E-Z Slide."

The beautiful gold offering plates are equipped with credit card slide and approval on demand slots. Church members who do not have cash on hand will now be offered the option of pulling out a credit card and simply sliding it through the plate. "Everyone is excited about this project," Team Lead, Dr. Harold Filmington commented, "we anticipated since all of our members make at least $75,000.00 a year, that each member who does not have a direct deposit into the Church Tithe Fund, will have to come up with at least $260.00 cash for offering each Sunday. Even though we have two ATM machines installed in all 14 sanctuaries, we calculated that they would not hold enough money to get through one service, if only 30 attendees made use of them. The solution was 'EZ-Slide' offering plates."

The plates will offer credit or debit. Members punch in their PIN numbers and their tithe money will be taken directly from their checking, savings, or credit card account. Ebeneezer Smith remarked, "God is proud of His people. Don't let anyone tell you we don't know what we're doing. A Christian company instrumented this project, A Christian team developed it, A Christian work-force made it, A Christian Delivery company dropped it off, and Christian people are using it! This is the kind of thing the secular world never tells you about! We run a tighter ship than most Devil run corporations out there, only we don't work for man, we work for God, for our CEO, Jesus Christ. And believe you me, this is the kind of thing that makes Him happy."

Members are asked to allow a longer offering time during services. Read the "Hymns will be played till offering is Paid" brochures if you have further questions. Sleeping will not be tolerated, we do not expect the length of services to be increased dramatically. They could go an extra hour or two for the first few months until we get the hang of things. Remember, each parishioner using the E-Z Slide offering plates must wait for credit card approval, sign their cards, and obtain their receipts. We ask for your patience during this wondrous time of Christian change and adjustment.