Win a Vacation With President Bush! A
Special Offer From the US
Department of Faith
Seven Luxury
Slots Available! Enter Now to Win!
This
exclusive offer is reserved for Republican friends of Jesus Christ and His anointed,
duly appointed ruler of the civilized world, (pictured right) President George
W. Bush:
Did
you know that in order to demonstrate His indefatigable readiness and
leadership, our infallible Christian President limits Himself to a mere dozen
vacations each year, some of them lasting fewer than five weeks?! It’s
true! And with a such a
grueling calendar, it’s truly a miracle that our Godly President can
maintain His legendary between-naps stamina!
Of
course, Presidential outings are luxurious, highly exclusive affairs with very
short guest lists. Sometimes, even
the President’s closest Saudi Arabian friends cannot join him – let alone
common sub-royal rabble such ourselves.
But
not anymore – because for the first time ever, the US
Department of Faith has been tasked with conducting a nationwide
sweepstakes to find seven lucky winners to enjoy the President's company on
future taxpayer-financed, month-long escapes from the fetid liberal cesspool
that is
Washington
DC
– and it could be YOU! So
don’t delay – enter TODAY!
Included
in Crawford Vacation With President Bush Package:
- 4
weeks accommodations in Prairie Chapel Ranch guest house (includes
indentured Mexican houseboy!)
- Daily
continental Tex-Mex breakfast barbecue buffet and Bible study
- 1
day of side-saddle horseback riding with the First Lady
- 2
days of motocross racing with the coolest Christian man ever! (GW)
- 1
day bicycle tour of Crawford with formal Presidential SWAT escort
- Daily
afternoon Mex-Tex lunch barbecue buffet, Bible study and hymn sing
- Accompany
the President on a 15-minute flyover assessment of the latest super-cool,
radical disaster area. Drinks and hors d'oeuvres served in flight!
- Evening
backgammon and charades
- Daily
late-night open bar with Toby Keith square dancing and bible study
- Autographed
American Flag
Included
in
Maine
Vacation With President Bush Package:
- 2
weeks of 1st class accommodations at the Kennebunkport Estate
- Morning
“PDB” intelligence briefings, accompanied by “Pat’s
Age-Defying Protein Pancakes”
- 1
week of deep sea fishing with President Bush and President Bush Sr.
- Daily
afternoon Bible study with the President and Rev. Pat Robertson
- Accompany
the President on a 15-minute flyover assessment of the Latest super-cool,
radical disaster area. Drinks and dinner served in flight!
- Daily
afternoon Lobster feast and Bible study with Reverend Franklin Graham
- Evening
Gin and/or Rummy with Barbara Bush
- BONUS:
Segway riding lessons with the President
How
Do I Win?
If
you are visiting this website, please remember that this offer
is open only to Bible believing, Truly Saved™ Christians.
To
qualify, please assemble a sweepstakes entry package consisting of the
following:
- “Proof
of 20% Tithing Certificate” from a Bible Believing Church
- Photocopy
of Republican voter registration card
- Notarized
letter professing love for Jesus Christ and President Bush
- $50,000
money order or cash (US dollars) to:
Win
a Vacation With
President
Bush
Landover
Baptist
Church
c/o Wexler Offshore Holdings
777 Soulwinner's Lane
Freehold,
Iowa
Note:
Etiquette requires that all winning contestants present one wrapped gift (to
exceed $2K in price), from Tiffany &
Co.
to the First Lady. Monies secured by contest entrants will be utilized
by the US Department of Faith as part of the President's efforts to promote
the teaching of Intelligent Design in
America
's public schools.
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2005, Americhrist Ltd.
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