September 2000

Surfin' The Web With Jesus!
September 2000 edition

By Mrs. Judy O'Christian

Well, it's surely good to be on God's side, isn't it, my dear True Christian friends? And we all know who God disapproves of, don't we! LIBERALS! And of course, the evil homosexurals! Thank goodness True Christians know what homos need-- a jail sentence!

Yes, our LORD surely frowns on them homos, and I am sick to death of the liberal media claiming that the Godly Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbo! Why, all she needs is a little makeup, a nice dress, and at least a couple of charm school lessons, and she can find herself a nice husband. Maybe one of them ex-gays could marry her? I mean, let's face it, I surely wouldn't want my daughter to marry one, and since they are so disgusting, they should be forced to marry each other and leave us normal folks alone.

Speaking of the evil homos, our dear friends at Concerned Women For America, a godly group that upholds the very same standards we at Landover stand for, has some important information on the evil choice to live that horrible lifestyle. Praise the LORD for their Christian love! And please join me in a prayer for the evil homosexurals!

As soon as George W. Bush gets into office, he'll take us back to Traditional Christian Values! After all, everyone knows America is a  Christian Nation! Why, we True Christians are standing up for issues that concern all Americans all over this great land. Not like those horrible, smelly French "people." I just thank the LORD that Godly Republicans are standing watch here in God's country! They will surely save us from the God-hating liberals!

Every True Christian knows that America is a land of religious freedom, and it will surely stay that way because George W. Bush will stop the Cathylicks, Wiccans,  Presbyterians and other satanists from spreading their evil devilry and trying to recruit our children! True Christians will see to that!  And Christians VOTE!  After all, these are Perilous Times  and we must undo the horrible damage that Clinton has done to our economy, our jobs, and our culture! Bush promises faith-based programs, with a national tithe, as God commands! Clinton has made God so angry I'm surprised Jesus hasn't already come back if for no other reason than to slap Hillary's face! George W. "The Burning" Bush will make sure the liberals won't take away our guns and our children will be protected from evil influences like evolution, Harry Potter and them Pokey-Men cards!  Instead, our children will learn all about how to be Godly, and will NOT be influenced by Satan's playthings  or false religions!

Indeed, President George W. Bush will ensure that the Holy Bible, the only book anyone needs, is the only book in the schools. President Bush will eliminate the evil homosexurals once and for all! And, as he showed in the GOP convention, he'll put the negroes on the path to respectability. And, anyone who disagrees with God and his agents on earth (Republicans) will be asked to find a new country to mess up, because God is taking America back! Glory!

Blessings to you, and remember, register to vote Republican in at least two states before October. If George W. Bush doesn't win the election, God is going to be very, very angry!

Mrs. Judy O'Christian