Pastor Deacon Fred had an opportunity to view the new film, "The Village."  A transcript of his film review (as heard at the 11 A.M. service) is posted below in case you attended another service and were unable to hear it.

A community of True Christians™ surrounded by a dense forest filled to the brim with bloodthirsty Wiccans. Sound familiar? It could be the Landover Baptist Church – or any Christian community throughout the land.  But in this case, it isn't.  It is the glorious new film by M. Night Shamading, "The Village." And goodness gracious! Does it ever hit home!

I was a bit suspicious when a pastor friend of mine asked me to accompany him to a closed screening of the film. When I first heard the director's name, I passed it off as one of those Hindu cable movies they show at the Injun restaurants in Des Moines. You know the ones I'm talking about  -- the movies with folks with dots on their foreheads breaking into an overproduced minstrel show every five minutes. But my pastor friend told me that this Shamading character was actually a saved, Bible believing colored man from deepest, darkest Philadelphia.  I said, "If he's saved, he ought to get himself a proper Christian Apostolate name." To which my pastor friend replied, "This young man is like a deep cover missionary, Deacon. If he changed his name, it is likely that his films wouldn't appeal to such a broad audience of brown skinned unsaved folks who are used to people with names that sound like household appliances and foreign food. Mr. Shammyding gets the good news of Jesus Christ out to people we wouldn't think about shaking a stick at – except to get their fecal-stained behinds off of our lovely property. And believe it or not, those new converts have pocketbooks just like anyone else. Granted, it might be the noisy "cha-ching" of coins you hear dropping into your offering plates, rather than the sweet sounding thump of a stack of wrapped $100 bills.  We must remember, to the Lord, it is still money, brother.  Even if the Lord leaves the building sounding like He's on his way to a laundromat."

And so I became convinced to join my Pastor friend late Saturday night in an undisclosed location outside of Des Moines to view this new Christian film from the director with a funny sounding name. And from the first minute, I knew that the Holy Spirit was directly involved in creating this movie. Just seeing the way the villagers were modestly clothed, made me feel as if I was looking out upon the congregation of this church, as I am looking out upon you today. Only their cotton is our silk.  Their wool is our cashmere. Glory to God!

The unsaved might marvel at how this director (who I am also told, wrote the script just as fast as the Lord could whisper it into his ear ) came to understand the seasonal feeding habits of voracious, bloodthirsty Wiccans.  But not us. Anyone at Landover who has witnessed the unnerving friendliness of Wiccas that gives away their desire to get close enough to kill will not be surprised by this frightening documentary. The director could well have worked on a farm, right here in Freehold, Iowa for a whole day doing research, for all we know.

How many of you have walked out of your houses in the morning to find your front doors dripping in pig's blood, fresh enough to steam up in your face? Stand up! Well... that looks like just about every single one of you!  I don't think there is any question that we know it's the demon-possessed Wiccans living in our woods who do this! Those foul creatures who claim to "harm no one," have done almost as much harm to Christians as the Democratic party!  Why, I bet if they ever slowed those cheap little cars of theirs down enough, we'd find in those Wicca's Camrys carpets and upholstery soaked through and through with sanguine sauce of slaughtered swine.  That warm pig blood probably sloshes from window to window every time those folks turn a corner or come to a quick stop.

Folks, the film, "The Village," will hit home for you! You know that for years we have tried to expose Wiccans for the Satan-worshipping misfits they are! For me, this M. Night Shamadang person summed up in a mere two hours what we have been trying to say for over 200-years!

Our forefathers who founded Freehold, Iowa dealt with their witches the old fashioned way! The Bible way! All one has to do is drag Landover Lake, and you'll see that its bottom is stacked high with the bones of those foul beasts. The EPA says it's because of Landover Baptist's raw sewage disposal plant that Landover Lake is uninhabitable to fish, but we know better.  It's because of those cursed bones floating around.  Anyone who has paddled a canoe across that lake can attest to the annoyance of having their paddle catch on a bobbing Wicca skull or pelvic bone. Hallelujah!

We thought we were free of witches for many years, but as M. Night shows us, they are back! Back with a vengeance to devour our children and suck the living testament of Jesus Christ down their sinister throats through their bloody Satanic rituals! It is a SHAME! A shame, my friends that we are constrained by so-called "legalities" that  prevent us from publicly carrying out the Lord's will in daylight, by slaughtering the evil ones on sight, even when the police are looking! Well, this film inspired me, my friends! Those menacing forest dwelling Wiccans that surround the perimeters of our church community and terrorize our Christian families will have their day in court! If it means we've got to bring out our nets and guns to snare and tranquilize every last one of them!

As the Devil's birthday approaches, we will stand ready to hunt these creatures who haunt our woods to make them a safe place for private devotion, intimate Pastoral counseling and commercial development once again!  I can't remember the last time I was able to take a young boy out into the woods alone for Bible study and prayer without having to carry a shotgun and look over my shoulder every minute, worried that someone who should be there would catch us!

I want all of you to make it a Christian priority to see this new film! Bring your loved ones and unsaved family members along! The more folks who learn about the dangers of Wicca, the safer this world will be. And fewer questions will be asked in late October when Landover Lake turns a glorious shade of red once again.

 

 

 

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