August 2003


Surfin' the Net With Jesus!
August, in the year of our LORD, 2003

Note: If you haven't done anything to get Jesus mad at you, the links will open in a new window. If they don't, consider yourself in danger of burning in HELL!

By Judy O'Christian

Praise the Lord and pass the Pickled Watermelon Rinds, it's August! And, speaking of August, could there bea more august, responsible,truthful man than our own True Christian® President, George W. Bush?? I think not, unless his name is Jesus. Hey you libruls, start showing some proper respect! And quit whining about the sixteen words! Bush is a True Christian, which means He could never tell a lie or practice deception, and He's much more fiscally responsible and far less arrogant than Clinton!

Bush and His Godly team are leading this nation back to where it once was, before the libruls and hippies and homosexurals destroyed it. Soon, Jesus will stomp all non-Repubicans FLAT, and He and I will have a good laugh as they scream and gnash their clean, white, librul teeth (libruls always brush their teeth, the filthy bastards!). True Christians are finally ready to take back the media and the libruls who own all the media can't stop us! Glory to God!

Now that the war in Iraq is over and our soldiers are no longer in harm's way (except to get stuck with a thorn from the many roses tossed by the grateful liberated Iraqis), it's time to say "thank you!" to George W. Bush and Jesus. Our brave True Christian soldiers know that Bush has their best interests in mind, and Americans are grateful that Republican men are in charge of the government--they know Conservatives can be trusted to always act in America's best interests. Finally, we can start getting some well-deserved respect (and tithes!) from the American taxpayer. Christians will no longer tolerate the anti-Christian antics of the government, with its overspending and wasteful programs.

Prayer is back in style, folks! Glory! Conservatives are going to get this nation back into shape, and just let the libruls try to steal the elections next year! And, once God listens to Pat Robertson and kills three librul Justices, Bush will appoint only True Christians to the bench. Glo--reeee! Then there'll be no more women suffering from the effects of abortion, no more so-called homosexural "rights," all nations on the Earth will have True Christian leadership, and the culture war will soon be won!

Thanks to Bush, America is well on its way to becoming something Republicans can be proud of. True Christians, stand up with me and take the credit!

And finally, here's incontrovertible proof that America is heading in the right direction: the Rapture Index is down!

Well, gotta get back to my pickles. Till September and back-to-home-school, I'll keep you all in my (imprecatory) prayers.

In Christian Love,


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