Overzealousness regarding the upcoming Levitical Law week, resulted in an early tragedy Monday evening. Migrant Worker, Swami Sri, who was brought to Landover nearly 2 weeks ago, escaped from his cell in the church basement where he was undergoing 'religious deprogramming' at the hands of Dr. Johnathan Edwards. He was last seen alive in the large migrant worker camp, provided for immigrants who are helping to build the Landover All Purpose Multi-Temple. 

It seems the Swami had an eye for Pastor Ebeneezer's wife. While she was making her weekly visits to the camp, it was noted that the worker had noticed her on several occasions.. The eye contact lasted more than five seconds each incident, and made the pastor's wife feel, "uncomfortable." Word soon swept through the church campus, and members, eager to avenge any disrespectful advances toward the pastor's wife, began a county wide manhunt. 

"We were hoping to bring him in alive," Dr. Edwards remarked, "He almost knew Christ as his personal savior, but we couldn't quite get the Hindu Demon out of him." The Swami's public displays of lust for the pastor's wife, fueled an already anxious congregation's burning desire to live out the Old Testament by the letter. Less than two months away from Levitical Law week, and the Church has experienced it's first tragedy. 

Pastor Smith told the mob, who had cornered the Swami in the waste disposal area of the migrant worker camp, "Don't consider this a tragedy. I know it is a little early to be punishing folks for disobedience, before the feast of Weeks, but if you look deeply into yourself, I am certain that you will find that your hearts were set on 'doing the right thing.' This will be considered an 'accident' if anyone should ask. No charges will be filed, there is no immediate family, as far as our government is concerned, this man never existed." 

The pummeled corpse was incinerated in the East Wing basement furnace. He had been hit over 100 times, with bricks, and stones, and wood. The items used to stone the man to death, were cleaned and returned to the construction site, where they will be used along with everything else as part of the foundation for the Multi Purpose Temple.