 |
 It has
been documented by reliable sources that former crack whore, Poppy Dixon
first started toying with the idea for 'Adult Christianity' while she was
under the care of Devil loving nuns, recovering from a 12 day drinking
binge at a seedy convent somewhere in New York City. The unsobering result
has been a 15 year premeditated tirade against the church, it's members,
it's history, it's God, it's Savior, and anything else that fits her fancy.
A Landover Pastor, and Sin investigator, stumbled across the site one day,
and became so upset over it, that he was hospitalized for 7 days, and nearly
died as a result. There is no need to question our authority on this matter,
Adult Christianity is dangerous, it is so dangerous, it could kill you.
Pastor Ebeneezer Smith has called for a 'no holds barred' immediate shutdown of Dixon's "Adult Christianity" web site, stating, "We've had 'Ms.,' or 'Mr.,' or whatever she's callin' herself nowadays, under investigation for nearly 2 years. Landover Personal Testimony Investigator and Nationally Recognized Christian Advice Columnist, Mrs. Betty Bowers has wormed her way into Poppy's demon infested soul on several occasions. She tells us that while she was undercover at one of Dixon's 'church services' she witnessed a bumbled baptism that nearly left an innocent child dead in the water. This kind of ineptness, and disregard for the sacred traditions of the church will not go unpunished."
"Her behavior is intolerable, and her work is nothing but a tap dance on the Devil's rump. We call for the Immediate Shutdown of Adult Christianity. This press release has been sent to thousands of newspapers, magazines, television stations, and churches around the country. It is our time to fight back at Satan and those who would share his bed!" - Rev. Ebeneezer Smith If you want to arm wrestle in the Devil's realm, visit her site and
voice your opinion on her message board. We estimate that her web site
will be shutdown in less than one week from today, so hurry! Adult
Christianity
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Dixon is a friend
to the limp wristed man, and the broad shouldered woman. She has incorporated
a lust driven sexuality into the salvation experience that makes Jesus
out to be some kind of bisexual masochist who couldn't wait to be whipped.
We've been informed that while employed at Marie Calendar, she bedded down
every busboy, doorman, and Mexican maid she could get her sweaty hands
on, and this was when she was sober! She smokes cigarettes, she has bobbed
hair, she is bossy, she has no respect for authority of any kind, she wears
short skirts, and sometimes dresses like a man, just to upset people.