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Church Responds to Success of
X-Men With Marvel™ Comic Book Bonfire Press Release
Landover
Baptist's comic book burning effort was in response to the
recent success of Marvel
comic book writer, Stan Lee (a long time nemesis of Pastor
Jack Chick of Chick
Tract fame) is a well known Atheist and womanizer
who uses comic books like the Rated X- Men, not to glorify
God, but to push his twisted ideology and godless agenda on
our innocent little American children. "No Christian
child has any business reading Mr. Lee's sexed-up humanistic
trash," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "Anyone who
spends that much time coming up with inviting lady-limbs,
heaving cartoon boobies and bulging, preposterously hung
groins, is bound to be drawing with one hand!
And if you don't get what I am tactfully saying,
Jesus does! If
your kids like juvenile depictions of fanciful nonsense,
drawn with the subtlety of a David Spade movie, slap a Chick
Tract into their hands instead!" For
the next several months, during Sunday School classes,
children will be required to repeat the following prayer
until it sinks into their heads and they never forget it: When
Jesus takes His last stand Jesus
is the X-Factor In
a Godly reaction to X-Men 3, the Board of Deacons has
commissioned a sin posse to be named, "The A-Men
Trinity." The A-Men will travel to outlying communities
and even into Des Moines with the good news that Jesus wants
to rid all homes of X-Men comic books and put them into the
hands of Landover Baptist Pastors who will in turn burn them
later this summer in
a giant fire if they don't fetch a good enough
love gift price on E-Bay. If
you are ready to make a commitment to Christ, you can send
us your X-Men comic books (the older the comic book, the
more important your commitment!) to save us from kicking in
the door to your parents' basement and snatching them out of
your cold, dead hand. Send your comic books to: Landover
Baptist A-Men Outreach
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