Tell-Tale Signs Your Child Is In Trouble:

• Wears a hat sideways
• Wears loose fitting or "baggy" pants.
• Earns poor grades in school.
• Fears water, or can't swim.
• Refers to your house or his bedroom as a "crib."
• Refers to his friends as "homies" or "peeps."
• Calls sports like basketball, "hoops."
• Saying "wup" after every other word he speaks.
• Watches television networks called, "UPN" or "WB."
• Wears clothes that bear gibberish or slang like: Fuba, Addidas, Pony, Wu Wear, Sean John, Hilfiger.
• Spends his allowance on radio speakers that can be heard from three blocks away.
• Has attended one or more of the following picture shows; "Rush Hour," "Next Friday," "Bad Boys," "Boyz in The Hood." (Check his pockets for ticket stubs)
• Spends an inordinate amount of time in the company of girls with unnaturally large behinds.
• Substitutes whole words for "half-words." Example: Player -Playa, Children - chillin, or illin, God - "G," Do not go there - Don't go there, Off of the hook - Off the hook, Word of God - "Word."

As you can see by this list, children display outward signs when they're in trouble. Yes! Incredibly enough, even Christian Children display these signs! Some of these signs, or "behaviors," as secular humanists call them, are easy to spot. Others are more difficult to see and might require you to rummage through their personal belongings or enlist the assistance of a Christian detective. In any case, if you suspect that your children are involved in worldly activities that could jeopardize their eternal security, a rusty belt buckle to their behinds or their fingers in a vice is often the most effective way of getting them to tell you what they're up to.

The helpful list above is for Christian Parents who are concerned about the well being of their child. If you see anything on the list and can say to yourself, "My child does that!" then most likely, your child has taken up with the wrong crowd and is probably involved in criminal activity. You need to contact your local Baptist pastor immediately!

What Can You Do While You Wait to Hear From Your Pastor?

• Forbid basketball.
• Eliminate fried chicken and grape soda from your children's diet (Creation Science Research Center Study - 1987).
• Give your child swimming lessons.
• Enroll your children in a Christian School if they are not already.
• Find and burn all of your children's secular records, CD's and videos.

 

 

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