LANDOVER CHURCH NEWS:
APRIL 1999 |
LOS ANGELES, CA - Talking Parrot Preaches Gospel To
Millions, Asks Only For Cracker In Return: |
A curious Malotoon Brazilian Chipitee Parrot is thought to
have learned not only the plan of Salvation, but a large portion of Scripture from an estranged Missionary in Amazonia. After 3 years of astonishing South American churchgoers, the parrot was smuggled to America in 1991 by renound Botonist and New Tribes Director Frank Hersh. Undergoing a 2 year crash course in English, the parrot (who simply calls himself "Willie") was led by the Lord (in his own words) to a whirlwind tour of English speaking churches worldwide. It is unclear at this time the exact number of souls "Willie" is responsible for leading to the Lord, but experts estimate that it's in the 8 figure range.
A recent article in American Christian Magazine
expressed concern over the 'cult-like' following that "Willie" has developed. Hundreds of young people have given up everything to follow "Willie" wherever he might lead them. |
His followers adhere to a strict diet of crackers and water, and claim that it is a form of
'fasting,' that draws them closer to the Lord. One youth stated "People think it's strange, they think it's weird that we should be devoted to someone who preaches the Word of God, and only asks for a cracker in return. I believe that "Willie" is a sign. He is a sign that these are the last days. When animals start speaking God's word and going off to be missionaries because humans are too lazy or caught up on their own self-interests to do it, then there is something wrong, not with "Pastor Willie," but with people who claim to be Christians." |
In any case, Christians around the world are flocking to see Willie the Soulwinning Parrot,
some claim that they were healed by touching his feathers. "Willie" fanatics argue that each colored feather represents a different kind of healing. The blue for spiritual, the red for health, the green for financial, and the yellow for psychological healing. If your church wants to enlist "Willie" for a speaking engagement, than you'd better act fast, he is booked up 3 years in advance. Pastor Smith of Landover Baptist Church in Freehold Iowa was lucky enough to get Willie to speak at his church. "He won souls I thought were lost for good," stated Rev. Smith. "We were so impressed that we had a stain glass window erected in his honor. It depicts Willie perched on the shoulder of Jesus Christ as he preaches the Sermon on the Mount." |
"Willie" is currently in China, where he is working hard at mastering the
Chinese dialect, "At least enough to deliver the plan of Salvation," he stated at a recent press conference. Christian manufacturing companies worldwide are hard at work delivering "Willie" related products to the youth of the world. Hats, stuffed Willies, feather bracelets, and crackers are popular items in many Christian bookstores around the country. If your child is lucky enough to have "Willie" sit on his or her shoulder and talk about the Lord, and accept a cracker from their hand, consider it a blessing. |
Copyright 1999/C.Harper - Americhrist Ltd.
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