What
is a Catamite? Webster's dictionary defines catamite
as "the youthful lover of an older man derived from the
Latin name Catamus." Catamus was the first Catholic priest,
who didn't even wait until the rock of Lord Jesus' tomb was
rolled back to get a young boy spread eagle on a altar (a
practice that resulted in the early church adopting the name
"altar boy.") The first Pope was so impressed with Catamus'
ability to bugger young altar boys while never losing his
place in scripture during service, that he coined the name
for the new church "Catholic," using Catamus' name and the
activity for which Catamus had become notorious. The
traditions establish by Catamus have become sacred rites of
passage for all Catholic priests, often taking 40-50 years
to perfect and master. What once was ostensibly a Christian
Church has become little more than a excuse for grown men to
wear dresses and bugger young boys – with the so-called
"church" offering the vocational perk to its priests of
often relocating pedophiles to new parishes so that they may
"sample some new flavors."
Are you a Catamite? There is simple way to find out! Simply
ask yourself two questions: (1) When I pull down my drawers, do I see a
penis dangling between my legs? and (2) Am I a Catholic? If you answered
"yes" to both of those questions then there is a 97.3% chance that you
have been or are currently a catamite. We'd love to speak with you and
help you set up a financial account with Landover Baptist. You can start
channeling all that money you've been sending to support pedophiles in
Rome into a True Christian® church.
We have two Landover Ladies (Sister Judy and Sister Taffy) who are
experienced Baptist counselors. They are working in shifts and always by
the phone 24 hours a day to help you! Please be patient! Your
eternal security is at stake, so STAY ON THE LINE!
While you are waiting to talk with a
counselor, why not visit these helpful links:
Help For Recovering Catholics!
Were You Sexually Molested or Abused by an old man
wearing a dress? (apparently normal behavior for Catholic
Priests). Did you know
that your time spent with him could be a gateway experience
that could lead you into questioning your sexuality and/or faith in
Jesus Christ?
Read this important article before you make
the worst mistake of your life, and damn yourself to Hell for eternity!
