Freehold Iowa - Landover Baptist Church will be showing exclusive engagements of "The Passion of The Christ" during Easter Week! "We do it each year now, and offer delicious free red-butter sprayed popcorn for all Christian moviegoers!" says Pastor Deacon Fred. 

"I've got to tell you this movie is fantastic! If you ain't seen it yet, Mr. Gibson has taken the Planet of the Apes (replacing the Apes with Jews instead of coloreds like we did in our re-make), and a few chapters from the Gospel of Luke, and he's created the most accurate depiction of Christ's terrifying crash landing on a donkey in Jerusalem, EVER! I want you to print out these flyers like we do each year, and nail them to the doors of unsaved family homes with the same authentic replica gold-plated 9-Inch-Nails that the mean old hairy Jews drove through Jesus' innocent snow-white limbs," Pastor Deacon Fred told Church members this Tuesday evening. "These lovely nails are available for prices starting as low as $27 at the Landover Baptist Gift Shop (a Mel Gibson The Passion of the Christ authorized merchant and moneychanger)!  Let's get the Word out! Folks can't see this movie enough times!  I have my sweet little grandchildren, watch it every night during Easter week!  Their nightmares are a wonderful opportunity to sit with them bedside and reiterate the importance of salvation!"

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