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Where is Jesus Blowing Your
Stimulus Tithe?
 The
Lord Sees What's In Your Wallet, It Has His Daddy's Name
"God," on it. It belongs to Him, and He
Wants it Back.
- Pastor Deacon Fred
By law, we are required to
disclose where the Lord Jesus Christ
is spending the money you drop into His offering plate each
week in the
form of Biblical "tithes." You already know,
the more you tithe, the better your seat on Sunday morning,
but did you know how frugal the Lord is with all that
money? In these harsh economic times the unsaved
public should have a beacon of hope and a sense of comfort
that the True Christians™ who make most of their decisions
are being careful with our finances!
As Real American Christians™
we know that our cash offerings not only bring us
closer to Jesus and Pastor Deacon Fred, but they also help
our glorious church in Iowa shine as a living testimony
to God's holy righteousness and sacred shopping preferences.
Please view the
handy tithing level charts below for details. This
satisfies Chapter XIV, Section C.4.2.3b of our IRS form
letter of public duty. This matter is hereby closed.
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Platinum
Tithers
Sunday Contributions
reaching
$5 Million Per
Family
Jesus
Uses Your Platinum Tithe In the Following Ways:
- First
Class Travel Upgrades/Deacons
-
Wexler Offshore Holdings, LLC.
-
Pastor's Quintannual Vacation Fund
-
Pastor's Mercedes Collection Ministry
-
Jet Fuel Fund for Private Ministry Jets
- Pastor's Annual Bonus
- Major Donor Annual Gala
- Creation Science (Iowa State Lobby)
- Legal Fees - N'Sync Lawsuit
- Pastor's Mansion Mortgage
- Mrs. Deacon Fred's Tea For Tithe
Elite Christian Social Club Ministry
- Creation Science Museum, Giant
Demon Bone Reconstruction
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Gold Tithers
Sunday Contributions
reaching
$1 Million Per
Family
Jesus
Uses Your Gold Tithe In the Following Ways:
- Cemetery Relocation Ministry
-
Wexler Offshore Holdings, LLC.
- Landover Ladies Annual Tahiti
Retreat
- Goose Feather Pew Pad Upkeep
- Landover Golf Course Maintenance
- Imported Italian Stained Glass
- Red Sea World (Christian
Amusement Park) Renovations
- All Purpose Multi-Fund for Pastor
- Homosexual Reparative
- Church Utilities Bills
- Brother Hardwick's Gambling Debts
- Weekly Church Floral Arrangements
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Silver
Tithers
Sunday Contributions
reaching
$500K Per
Family
Jesus
Uses Your Silver Tithe In the Following Ways:
-
Landover Christian Mall Renovations
-
Wexler Offshore Holdings, LLC.
- Deacon's Salary Fund
- Junior High Bible Gun Camp Ministry
- Creation Science Research Center
- PlayStation 2's and Phones for Web
Based Salvation Offers
- Pastor Deacon Fred Drug
Prescription Fund
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Bronze
Tithers
Sunday Contributions
reaching
$100K Per
Family
Jesus
Uses Your Bronze Tithe In the Following Ways:
-
Construction of Noah's Water Park
-
Wexler Offshore Holdings, LLC.
- Church Secretary Salary Fund
- Minority Workers Hush Fund
- Pastor's Networking Luncheon Fund
- Landover Baptist Police
Department Guns and Ammunition
- Landover Academy Football
Equipment
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The above financial disclosures do hereby
satisfy IRS Chapter XIV, Section C.4.2.3b of the form letter
of public duty submitted to Landover Baptist by the Secular
Government under the administration of Barack Hussein Obama, on
February 16th, 2009.
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1998-2009, Americhrist Ltd.
All rights reserved. Terms
of Service
The
Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18 |
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