TOP NEWS FROM GOD'S PEWS:

Christian Checklist to Spotting Faggotry!  The winner of this year's Baptist College writing contest, "What Did I Learn This Summer?" shares with fellow Christians, 10 signs an adult male is a gay. Read This Insightful List!>

Satan is Using Olympics Volleyball to Get Baptist Boys to Masturbate!  "When officers arrived, the boys were dressed and seated in the living room with Bibles on their laps. But the Devil left his hoof-prints all over the bedroom!" Details!>  

Republican Kids Say the Darndest Things About Barack Obama! "Does every family move to Canada if Obama is elected, or is it just everyone on my Daddy's side?" Questions From Kids!> 

What Can Christians Do to Help Increase Global Warming? 
The faster Earth heats up, the more quickly Jesus will return! Glory!  More>

Shocking Bible Discovery Shatters the Homosexual Agenda!  "The Bible reveals the exact number of Homos living anywhere in the world, and it is nowhere near the numbers they would have you believe!" Revelation!>

FILM REVIEW:
Finally, A Movie About Mexicans the Whole Family Can Enjoy!  Beverly Hills Chihuahuas is a film that will educate and inform True Americans™ about the culture, mannerisms, and subtle deviance of the Mexican people.  Read More>

AFRICAN AMERICAN VOTERS:
Trade Us Your Voter's Registration Card For Free Fried Chicken From Popeye's!  No need to rough up any colored voters at the polls this coming election.  Popeye's fried chicken does the trick just fine.  Even better, its legal and maybe even Biblical!  Read More>

James Dobson: FOCUS ON THE PHARISEE
A beginner's guide to understanding how American Christians interpret the New Testament! You might be a practicing Christian and not even know it! Handy Chart!>  

Ladies of Landover Take a Stand Against Vile Language!  Our Baptist Ladies Club recently expelled ten of their own members! A Sin Patrol dragged each of the accused to room 217 at Landover Elementary school, which served as a "Star Chamber" for the Landover Ladies' Board of Decency Panel.  Comments Leading to Expulsion>