Monogamous Homos Try To Spoil Traditional, Anglican Marriage

"The actions taken by the New Hampshire Episcopalians are an affront to Christians everywhere," declared Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian. "I am just thankful that the church's founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, his wife Anne Boleyn, his wife Jane Seymour, his wife Anne of Cleves, his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on our 'traditional Christian marriage.'"