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Baptist Ladies Club Takes a Stand Against Vile LanguageLadies of Landover Take a Stand Against Vile Language!  Our Baptist Ladies Club recently expelled ten of their own members! Parents be warned! The offensive remarks of these formerly decent Christian women contain euphemisms for blasphemy that are inappropriate for little Christian ears!  Comments Leading to Expulsion>

James Dobson and Barak Obama - Old Testament vs. New Testament Battle For the Fate of Our Nation!James Dobson: FOCUS ON THE PHARISEE
A beginner's guide to understanding how American Christians interpret the New Testament! You might be a practicing Christian and not even know it! Handy Chart!>

Trade Your Voter's Registration Card In For Free Chicken From Popeye's!AFRICAN AMERICAN VOTERS:
Trade Us Your Voter's Registration Card For Free Fried Chicken From Popeye's!  No need to rough up any colored voters at the polls this coming election.  Popeye's fried chicken does the trick just fine.  Even better, its legal and maybe even Biblical!  Read More>

Reader Mail From Landover Baptist Reader Mail Updates!
100% Genuine E-mails sent to Landover Baptist from concerned Christian citizens. Updated with June 2008 e-mails to our Pastor.  Read!>

Why Christians Shouldn't Care About the EnvironmentWhat Can Christians Do to Help Increase Global Warming?  We know more about the fate of this planet than any hell-bound scientist. The faster Earth heats up, the more quickly Jesus will return! Glory!  Read More>

Mrs. Betty Bowers is Running For President!Betty Bowers & Her Blessed Blog America's Best Christian™ blogs current events, political affairs, and explains prayer with in her new video! Click Here


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Beverly Hills Chihuahuas - A film about Mexians the Whole Family Can EnjoyFILM REVIEW:
Finally, A Movie About Mexicans the Whole Family Can Enjoy!  Beverly Hills Chihuahuas is a film that will educate and inform True Americans™ about the culture, mannerisms, and subtle deviance of the funny-talking, curious little servants the good Lord keeps blessing us with.  Read More>

Jesse Helms - Celebrating the Life of a True Christian American Hero With a Special Tribute to the Late SenatorJesse Helms Made George Wallace Look Like a Lovable Amateur  When it comes to hating all the same folks God does, no one came close to the Late, Great Jesse Helms. Brother Hardwick celebrates the life of this American hero with a special closed-door sermon to our Platinum-Tithers! Tribute to Senator Helms>

Constitutional Biblical Marriage Amendment ProposalEmergency Biblical Marriage Regulations Fast-Tracked to President Bush!
In retaliation to secular (Satanic) courts in California deciding that homosexuals should have the same rights as the rest of us, the U.S. Department of Faith proposes emergency amendments to the Constitution! More>

Are Americans So Hooked on Reality TV, They'd Put a Negro Islamic Extremist in the White House?Barack Hussein Obama's Ties To the Nation of Islam
The
Landover Baptist Department for the Study of Inferior Cultures releases a list of important findings based on reliable Christian hearsay. Learn More> 

Bible Based SexBaptist Sexuality  
Understand that Satan is making your soft, inviting body HIS business!  Learn how to stop his wandering red-hot demon fingers from tickling your True Christian™ fancy! I Want to See More!>


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APRIL 2008 @ -LANDOVERBAPTIST.NET & MORE!

Baptists For Republican Faith!  Praise Jesus!  
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Work Begins on 2008 Christian Voter's Guide  
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Vacation Bible Gun Camp Registration Underway!Junior High Vacation Bible Gun Camp!

What is There to Do at Bible Gun Camp This Summer?
Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible skits, and evening super surprise game competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt unsaved homeless people who are dropped into the mountains by helicopter. This year, our campers
will also be visiting the ungodly children at Camp Quest (a secular summer camp for stupid sissies)  for a drive by, "Get Your Feet Hot For Jesus" visitation. Bring your pistols for some old fashioned soul-winning shoot-em-up dusty foot devil dancin'!
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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!
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