Landover Baptist | Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome.

Landover Baptist is America's Favorite Church!

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George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

The Fantastic 3 Hollywood is always trying to steal ideas from the Holy Bible, but they never quite get it right! Download a free educational flyer and hand it out to unsaved pop-corn munchers attending the new Fantastic 4 movie! More!>

Did He Not Do Enough to Please You, Lord? In a surprise move, God snuffs out Jerry Falwell after a heart-healthy breakfast. More!>

Christian Kids Wanna Know!
Did I Once Swim Out of My Daddy's Privates?
It doesn’t surprise Pastor to hear that secular school teachers are shameless deniers of the Intelligent Avian Delivery theory. More!>

Reader Mail!
100% Genuine E-mails sent to Landover Baptist from concerned Christian citizens. Read!>

Harry Potter Action Alert!
24-Hour prayer vigils will be held outside the Freehold, Iowa Multiplex beginning in early May! Get Involved!>

Godly Advice for a Barren Widow with Cancer While I'm not familiar with cancer of the "lever," it sounds just dreadful. More!>

Thousands of incredible and 100% real gift ideas in the Landover Baptist Store!

Spiderman: The Vile Glorification of Arachnid Bestiality! By using the same false and perverted promise from the fairy tale story of the princess and frog (which we have steadfastly condemned from its initial concept), Hollywood stoops to a new low! Movie Review!>

Pope Appears in Credit Card Ad to Pay Off Class Action Molestation Suit Brought by 23% of New Jersey See the King of the Mary Worshippers' new MasterCard Ad. Go!>

See if you can identify when the Lord fumbled a prognostication Click Here>

Brother Harry Confronts Famous Negro Atheist! Listen to Pastor Hardwick's sharp tongue thwart persecution from a man of color! More>

Registration for Junior High Vacation Bible Gun Camp Underway!

What is There to Do?
Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible skits, and evening super surprise game competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt unsaved homeless people who are dropped into the mountains by helicopter.

Who Can Come?
Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Gun Camp is for anyone who finished Grade 3 up to those finished grade 8. Optional grade 7 for those who attended last year and failed to kill an endangered animal and memorize over 50 Bible verses.

Put your child in the care of Landover Baptist Ministers for a summer they will never forget!

Click Here for More Details!

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!