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Shopping with Jesus is 100% safe. Guaranteed. (We'll set one up for you) View my Wish List Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? (Teaching Youngsters About Hell) by Pastor Deacon Fred Smith List Price: $12.97 Our Price: $35.99 You Save: Nothing. (Only Jesus Saves!) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours from Landover Baptist Church in Freehold, Iowa. Click on the book cover to download a sample page to color! Print out several copies, and give them to every impressionable child you can find. While they're coloring, they'll find Jesus' unconditional love! Summary: God's violent anger is directed toward those who dare to question His perfect love for them. Grandma Jenkins is no exception. One little slip of the tongue on her deathbed secured an eternity of separation from God. Marooned alone in the lake of fire, her only company is a visiting red-finned water demon who sodomizes her from the deep as fire waves crash into her screaming head and burst her wrinkled body into flames. This beautifully illustrated Christian children's book is grounded in the timeless words of Jesus Christ. Jesus teaches all of his children not to be afraid of the Devil, but to be afraid of God. "But I forewarn you whom ye shall fear." Jesus says in Luke 12:5, "Fear Him, who after he hath killed hath the power to cast into hell." This is sound, true Christian doctrine, grounded in the Holy Bible. Talking to a four-year-old child about God's carefully constructed plan of eternal torture in Hell and His unquenchable thirst for human blood can be difficult, but this book makes it easy and fun! Remember dear Grandma, who baked so well? Soon she will be baking - This time in Hell! Dear Daddy, why Grandma? What did she do? Don't question it child, or God will GET YOU! Hardcover 1 Ed edition (May 2000) Christian Children Books; ISBN: 09245699 ; Dimensions (in inches): 0.47 x 9.03 x 9.01 baptizon.com Sales Rank: 17 Avg. Customer Rating: Number of Reviews: 4 God Fearing Fundamentalist Baptist Customers who bought this book also bought: Donkeys Can Talk, People Can Fly, And A Man Named Jesus Lives Up In The Sky by Pastor Deacon Fred. Your Daddy Don't Live Here No More; He Is Shacking up with Satan by Gloria Steinhunt. Spotting Catholic Priests with Candy: Survival Guide for Nubile Baptist Boys by former Catholic Priest - Rev. O'Malley Bertha Has Two Gods: How To Talk With Your Child About The Hellbound Heathen by Sister Judy O'Christian Jesus Is Probably Going To Kill You by Rev. Harry Hardwick Christ-Related Auctions, Jesus Shop sellers and our other Christian stores recommend: Women Probably Don't Have Souls, Edited by Pastor Deacon Fred and Brother Harry Hardwick, (Current bid: $219.00) Solid Gold Calf (Price: $118,125.00) Editorial Reviews Synopsis As you flip through the pages of this book, you'll see Grandma Jenkins on her deathbed. Her Christian family is gathered around her, praying and reading the Bible. Grandma opens her mouth and breathes the words, "I'm not sure if God is real." On the next page, Grandma finds out just how real God is when He clap-smashes her head with His gigantic hands, bursting it like a ripe tomato all over the family and hospital walls. The book also comes with a red crayon and children can use it to color the hospital walls with Grandma's blood, and later to color places where grandma keeps bursting into flames in the lake of fire. Rev. Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church- , May 11, 2001 Author's Review: Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma "I love this book. I'm not just saying that because I wrote it. I am saying that because Jesus helped me write it. Christian people are excited about this book, and they ought to be. The false doctrine, 'God doesn't send you to Hell, you send yourself there,' is thrown out the window with this publication. Jesus tells us that his daddy sends us to Hell. You can't throw yourself into the lake of fire, only God can do that. And the Bible also teaches us that God kills people. Kids need to learn to fear God at an early age, and what better way of instilling that fear into them than by using a 25-page coloring book about an unsaved family member being tortured in Hell?" Mrs. Betty Bowers- , May 10, 2001 Review: Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? When small children inquire about the whereabouts of a deceased friend or relative, some timid, deceitful parents will respond with the outrageous lie that “they are in Heaven with the angels,” knowing full-well that the loved one’s decaying corpse is languishing in the dirt until Judgment Day. Some Counterfeit-Christians actually embrace the despicable falsehood that the dead are already gallivanting about in God’s Glory – as if the Lord provides “free samples” of Heaven, allowing sinners to “test drive” their reward. Such a ludicrous notion, of course, would render the glorious Day of Judgment a superfluous charade. As all True Christians™ know, it is the Lord’s plan that those He has decided to kill off shall commune with worms and rodents in graves until, in 99% of the cases, He dispatches them to Hell to be tortured-by-proxy for eternity. This may not be a pleasant thing to tell children barely old enough to dress themselves, but it is not a parent’s business to succumb to lies simply to cover for the Lord’s wildly misanthropic predilections. That is why “Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma” is the only book we use at Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers’ “Teaching Toddlers About God’s Relentlessly Vicious Wrath” workshops. It is a book guaranteed to both entertain and frighten children of all ages. Customer Reviews of the Day (what's this?) Write an online review and share your thoughts with other shoppers! 150,200 of 150,200 people found the following review helpful: I Have Ordered 1,000 Copies! , May 15, 2001 Reviewer: Sister Taffy from Leviticus Landing, Iowa For me, this book is an absolute blessing. I can't tell you how many times some sticky-fingered child will come up to me before or after service and ask, "Sister Taffy, my Granmda died --where is she? Why did God have to take her? Why did Granny die?...." It never fails that I am right in the middle of rebuking a lesser Christian or discussing something of great importance. So, after reviewing this book, I've ordered an entire case. They fit right in my purse and can be handed right to the inquiring child without even interrupting my train of thought. This past Sunday, one of the Greene children came up to tell me all about how his Grandmama had passed. I was talking to Sara Levins about how Lorraine Mimmicks' dress made her look like a New Jersey slut and just shoved the little book at that awful Green girl. Well, not 15 minutes later, I walked right by a pew, and there was the girl sobbing hysterically. I knew then that this book was filled with the word of God and that her questions were answered. Everyone needs at least ten copies on hand. Was this review helpful to you?     517,221 of 517,222 people found the following review helpful: Finally! A Christian Coloring Book!, May 14, 2001 Reviewer: Mrs. Judy O'Christian from Freehold, Iowa. "If there was ever any book a child needs to read and memorize--other than the KJV-1611 Holy Bible--this is that book! Today's liberal-minded "PC" parents have failed their children by telling them that their departed loved ones are "surely in Heaven," when we True Christians know that is NOT the case! God sends all sinners to Hell, and it's time folks learned the truth--that they'd best get right with God NOW and stay right, because they could get run over by a bus any minute." Was this review helpful to you?     Customers who bought titles by Pastor Deacon Fred Smith also bought titles by these authors: Adolf Hitler Dr. Rev. Jerry Falwell President George Bush Rev. Fred Phelps Jorgé Luis Borges Conditions of Use | Privacy Notice This landover baptist parody page utilizes trademarks and graphics © 1996-2000, amazon.com, Inc.