Shocking Bible Discovery Shatters the Homosexual Agenda!

Sermon by Brother Harry Hardwick

Friends, contrary to the disturbing lies homosexuals tell us, we now have conclusive proof that there are fewer sodomites out there than age-eligible Olympic Chinese gymnasts! And the evidence comes straight from the Bible! Praise God! Quite frankly, I’m a tad embarrassed that I hadn’t discovered this passage before. As a devout, nearly sinless True Christian™, I would never boast or brag. But as y’all know, I’ve been affectionately known as the Bible Answer Man for better than 20 years, ever since I won the world championship for reciting the Old Testament begets in the fastest time (12 min., 5.8 sec.). Now, that’s a record even that light-in-the-loafers Olympic swimmer will never come close to matching!

Since we all know sex is for procreation, not recreation, and since Heather and I have 12 children, all boys named after the apostles, I spend my evenings re-reading the Bible while Heather is in the kitchen, preparing the next day’s instructions for the help. On my fifth reading through the Book of Revelation this year, my attention was drawn to Chapter 14, verses 1-4. I am absolutely convinced that this passage exposes the homosexual agenda for what it is -- the rantings of a handful of immoral extremists, trying to recruit our sweet, innocent little children into their tiny depraved cult.

“And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father’s name written in their foreheads. And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers with their harps: And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women…”
- Rev. 14: 1-4

In this verse, the Book of Revelation makes it crystal clear that Heaven will be limited to 144,000 men who were never with women! This number includes more than just homos my friends, since there are obviously some men who are heterosexual (that means “normal”) who have never been with women, probably because their tally-whackers never developed fully, as the good Lord intended. That means there may be less than a hundred thousand queers worldwide! Can I get an A-men?

This just shows how dishonest and devious those butt-sniffin' nelly boys really are! They actually claim that one out of 10 men in this country is a homo! That would equal 14 million nancy boys in America alone! Whew! It would translate into five NFL players per team, three boys in every child’s homeroom and dozens of professional figurer skaters. In short, this is outrageous! These pernicious sissies have obviously been filling their so-called gay bars and pride parades with straight people they hired just to make their numbers look bigger.  Well, as we're all fond of saying, it stinks like the Devil's hiney, my friends! 

The homosexual agenda has finally been exposed! And I am here to make this declarative revelation publically so every True Christian™ in the world will know the truth! For decades, the queers have used exaggerated numbers of their population to add legitimacy to their immoral, depraved cult. This enabled them to lure unsuspecting children and confused, well-dressed adults into their sexually deviant lifestyle. Well, no more! The Bible makes it perfectly clear that there are no more than 144,000 of these men anywhere in the world. As a group, they’re smaller than the Log Cabin Republicans!  Their political clout and influence on our Christian society should be no greater! 

 

 

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